CAPTION REVIEWS: Nacho Libre, Superman Returns, Monster House, The Benchwarmers

Summer Captions

This summer seems to have gotten away from me in terms of keeping up with my movie reviews. That being the case, I’ve decided to offer brief reviews on four films viewed between June and August.

NACHO LIBRE (2006)

My Rating: **** (out of *****)
Starring: Jack Black, Ana de la Reguera, Hector Jimenez, Cesar Gonzalez, Peter Stormare
Director: Jared Hess

My Review:
Nacho Libre is a supremely silly comedy about a Mexican friar (Jack Black, utterly hysterical) who falls for a lovely nun (Ana de la Reguera, the latest Salma Hayek, Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Lopez, et al) and dreams of becoming a wrestler, or luchador, so that he can “get some respect.” Nacho hooks up with a scrawny street urchin named Esqueleto (Jimenez, whose expressions alone bring more laughs than most movies do in their entirety), and together, they enter the colorful world of Lucha Libre prize fighting. Nacho’s double life (he cooks for the orphans in his village by day while wrestling at night) can’t last forever, but all ends well when he decides to use the money he gains from fighting to serve the orphans.

As one would expect from the director of Napoleon Dynamite, Nacho Libre maintains a bizarre, wacky sensibility throughout (the twin midget fighters, the lady who burrows through tunnels, the corncob in the eye, etc.). Nacho is more mainstream in that its lead character, unlike Napoleon’s grating, obnoxious central figure, is a lovable loser. Jack Black owns this movie, and his Nacho is a riot from first frame to last, whether he’s ungraciously jiggling his stomach flab, tauting his large posterior while wearing white “stretchy pants,” improvising a song about his beloved, or passing gas as he attacks his opponents.

Take these assets and toss in the delightfully absurd soundtrack (bravo Danny Elfman!), a goofy sense of sweetness, and some hilariously staged fight sequences, and you end up with the funniest and most enjoyable comedy in years.

PG, for crude humor and innuendo, and for comical action violence

SUPERMAN RETURNS (2006)

My Rating: **** ½ (out of *****)
Starring: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden, Kevin Spacey, Parker Posey, Frank Langella, Sam Huntington
Director: Bryan Singer

My Review:
Superman was my hero growing up. Ever since I first heard John Williams’ immortal theme and saw Christopher Reeve saving Metropolis and fighting for Truth, Justice, and The American Way, I was hooked. In fact, I was such an avid fan that I viewed Superman: The Movie and Superman II more than 100 times each before the age of 15. All this to say, when I learned that a new Superman was hitting the screens, I faced a multitude of emotions ranging from excitement to fear. Thankfully, a few missteps notwithstanding, the filmmakers have fashioned a worthy follow-up to the originals, creating one of the best superhero movies ever made in the process.

Returns picks up five years after Superman II concluded (III and IV are ignored – yea!). Shortly after defeating the three villains from Superman II, Superman (newcomer Brandon Routh – who literally seems to channel Chris Reeve at times) disappeared on a journey of self discovery. Upon returning five years later (which is where this movie starts), the Man of Steel finds that the world has learned to live without him. In particular, Superman's former flame Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth, not bad, but woefully miscast) has a young son, is engaged to be married to Perry White’s nephew (James Marsden, thankfully not caricatured as the inadequate boyfriend), and has won the Pulitzer for an article entitled “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman.” Also, that old baddie Lex Luthor (Spacey, effective but not quite as fun as Gene Hackman) has escaped from prison and is up to his old tricks of total world domination. Of these issues – corruption and lack of faith – the former seems like a breeze compared with the latter, and how our hero addresses these concerns is what makes Superman Returns not only a great comic book action movie, but a rich, layered dramatic success as well.

Besides being a little low on humor (which the earlier films had in abundance), the greatest flaw in Bryan Singer’s new version is that he has missed the boat on the character of Lois Lane. Kate Bosworth does not do a bad job at all. It’s just that she is not Lois Lane. The endearing goofiness, the zest, the lack of self-consciousness, the originality – all of these have been replaced with a thoroughly grounded, highly accomplished, wholly modern female lead who is much more elegant but much less interesting than Margot Kidder’s rendition in the earlier films.

The experience of seeing this film in the theater - hearing those familiar, majestic tones of John Williams' classic themes, seeing the opening credits fly at the screen as they did in the earlier films, and catching Superman’s smile as he flies past the earth before the closing titles – was pure magic for me. Besides the nostalgia factor, which is quite high, Superman Returns is a great film in its own right. The story is interesting, the acting solid, the emotions complex, the action exciting and exquisitely staged, and the Christological elements fascinating. In fact, the scenes in which the latter are portrayed visually are the most haunting and beautiful in the entire film.

PG-13, for some intense action violence, thematic elements, mild language including a few suggestive references, and brief partial nudity

MONSTER HOUSE (2006)

My Rating: *** ½ (out of *****)
Starring (vocal talents): Mitchel Musso, Sam Lerner, Spencer Locke, Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kevin James, Nick Cannon, Jason Lee, Jon Heder, Kathleen Turner, Fred Willard, Catherine O’Hara
Director: Gil Kenan

My Review:
A children’s horror movie? A bit of an oxymoron, wouldn’t you say? But director Gil Kenan and writers Dan Harmon, Rob Schrab, and Pamela Pettler have constructed exactly that with Monster House, a twisted, inventive, exquisitely animated feature that seems to take its cues from the Tim Burton school of filmmaking.

This delightfully demented and extremely watchable movie explores one of the hallmarks of childhood: the dilapidated old house that everyone says is haunted but no one dares to enter. DJ and Chowder (perfectly voiced by Musso and Lerner) are two young friends on the verge of pre-adolescence. Left alone with a mean-spirited babysitter for the weekend preceding Halloween, the boys – with help from a neighbor girl who has captured both of their fancies – set out to investigate the mystery of the house that literally seems to have a life of its own. What they find is, to say the least, disturbing, but the tone stays relatively light throughout, and of course, things work out okay in the end. An abundance of humor along the way also keeps things from getting too freaky. Think of it as Poltergeist Lite.

First, the pro’s: The animation is utterly spectacular. The characters move with remarkable fluidity, and the look is astonishingly realistic even while maintaining an appropriately cartoonish feel. Also, the script is frequently insightful and hilarious, the scares are spooky and fun, the vocal talents considerable (especially Lerner, with additional kudos to Nick Cannon and Kevin James as a pair of bumbling cops), and the vision exciting. This is one of the more invigorating films of the summer.

The con’s: This movie is entirely too dark and creepy for younger kids, who unfortunately make up the bulk of the targeted audience. Some of the story’s twists and turns are bizarre and troubling, and the excess of adult references (including, but not limited to, manslaughter, possession, extramarital affairs, a drunken, groping boyfriend, unrebuked lying and manipulation, misuse of pharmaceuticals by young children, voyeurism, etc.) easily push Monster House into PG-13 territory. Finally, the caricature of adults and law enforcement as consistently clueless, shallow, and helpless is tiresome and inappropriate for the impressionable young children that will consume this product.

All in all, Monster House is a unique, fun, and frothy summer concoction of thrills and chuckles, with cautions for younger audiences as noted.

PG (unwisely), for mature thematic elements, bizarre and frightening moments with some related violence and mayhem, crude humor and innuendo, and some language

THE BENCHWARMERS (2006)

My Rating: ½ (out of *****)
Starring: Rob Schneider, David Spade, Jon Heder, Jon Lovitz, Molly Sims, Tim Meadows, Craig Kilborn, Nick Swardson
Director: Dennis Dugan

My Review:
There’s not a lot to say about this movie. First and foremost, it sucks. Really, really bad. Even in the company of such lowbrow comedies as Dumb and Dumber or Tommy Boy, this movie falls embarrassingly and hopelessly short.

To attempt to describe the plot of The Benchwarmers is essentially pointless. The simple fact is that there really isn’t one. Basically, a former bully (Schneider) pairs up with a couple of big time nerds (Spade, in the grossest wig ever, and Heder, who fares the best out of anyone in this god-awful movie, but that’s NOT saying much) to empower an up-and-coming generation of geeks by joining their baseball team and playing against the big, bad bully kids, who have clearly learned their abusive behavior from their own reprehensible fathers. Throw in bald-faced mockery and stereotyping of homosexuals, women, short people, and the mentally challenged, to name a few, and you have 85 excruciating minutes of “comedy.”

I guess that somewhere, somehow, this high concept could have generated some humorous episodes. Alas, there is barely a chuckle to be had. In fact, the filmmakers try so hard to elicit laughs that one feels repeatedly punched in the gut by the director’s disingenuous attempts. They are 99% unsuccessful, and the result is bruising and painful. Finally, the acting is atrocious, the pacing choppy, the jokes unfunny and/or offensive, the emotion hackneyed, and the technical qualities lacking. Steer clear, if you know what’s good for you.

PG-13, for language, crude and sex-related humor, and some comic violence

DVD/VIDEO: The Omen (2006)

THE OMEN (2006)

My Rating: *** ½ (out of *****)
Starring: Liev Schreiber, Julia Stiles, Mia Farrow, Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick, Pete Postlethwaite, David Thewlis, Michael Gambon
Director: John Moore

My Review:
For the record, I’m getting just as tired of Hollywood’s fascination with remakes as you are. Usually, they’re not even remakes of good movies (consider director John Moore’s previous offering – The Flight of the Phoenix – a tepid remake of an equally tepid film). So, when I discovered that a new version of the 1976 horror classic The Omen was hitting theaters on June 6, 2006 (6-6-06, easily one of the most ingenious marketing gimmicks in motion picture history), I was little more than amused. Alas, being a horror buff and a fan of the original, I couldn’t resist.

Using David Seltzer’s original screenplay almost word for word and shot for shot, director Moore has reimagined rather than remade Richard Donner’s earlier film, assembling an impressive, big-name cast and weaving a stylish, mesmerizing atmosphere to give the somewhat tired proceedings a bit of an edge.

Schreiber, relatively solid here, fills in for Gregory Peck as Robert Thorn, the American Ambassador in London who slowly begins to suspect that his young child Damien (Davey-Fitzpatrick) may be the Antichrist foretold in Scripture. Thorn’s wife Kathy (a passable Julia Stiles) knows that something is wrong with Damien before her husband does. The old “everyone including my own husband ignores the obvious signs that we have hell-child on our hands and thinks I’m totally losing it” ploy is milked for all its worth, and is actually relatively effective here. I usually can’t stand Julia Stiles. I think she’s one of the most wooden actresses around. But, to her and director John Moore’s credit, we actually feel pity for her hopeless plight.

As mentioned, due to the fact that we who have seen the original already know everything that’s going to happen (and even those who haven’t will probably figure it out pretty quickly), this 2006 version is all about the mood and the actors. The aforementioned principals are decent, but the supporting players really get to shine. Pete Postlethwaite is perfect as the tortured Father Brennan, and David Thewlis (in an unusual “good guy” role) almost seems like the reincarnation of David Warner from the original movie.

Not surprisingly, Mia Farrow steals the film as Mrs. Baylock, the deceptively sweet new nanny who turns out to be a demonic agent sent to insure that no one harms little Damien. Billie Whitelaw, who originated the role in the 1976 version, was truly terrifying, but also totally obvious. Farrow’s Baylock is actually believable as a seemingly loving guardian who could dupe parents as attentive as the Thorns are. That doesn’t, however, mean there isn’t plenty of room for scenery-chewing, which Farrow does with delightfully demented relish. Every scene with her is a wickedly guilty pleasure.

Atmospherics are top notch, including a tantalizing obsession with the color red (it pervades this movie like a plague), a handful of brilliant set pieces (the famous balcony sequence, a couple of eerily perverted dreamscapes, a mournfully lonely old church and graveyard, and the ear-splitting thunderstorm in which Father Brennan meets his unhappy demise), and effective use of lighting and camera techniques.

All in all, the film’s greatest misstep comes with Moore’s philosophies on how to coach the young actor portraying Damien. In my humble opinion, the spawn of Satan in human form should be attractive and normal-looking. After all, the Devil was an angel before he fell, and evil often appears to be beautiful. As directed by Moore and acted by Davey-Fitzpatrick, Damien is perpetually scowling, with sunken bug eyes and a plastered-on frown. He comes across as annoying rather than frightening, which is most unfortunate as it mutes some of the potential thrills offered by this movie. Still, The Omen 2006 is a happy diversion for genre lovers and those who enjoyed the original.

R, for moments of gruesome horror-style violence and gore, some disturbing imagery, brief strong language, and mature thematic elements

DVD/VIDEO: Freedomland

FREEDOMLAND (2006)

My Rating: **** (out of *****)
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Julianne Moore, Edie Falco, Ron Eldard, William Forsythe
Director: Joe Roth

My Review:
For all those film fans who haven’t yet heard of it, there’s a great website called Rotten Tomatoes (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/). Film critics across the country say “yea” or “nay” to a movie, and Rotten Tomatoes makes an average of these numbers, assigning an overall percentage rating to the film. A 60% or higher positive average deems the picture “fresh,” while those let fortunate are labeled “rotten.” Cute. Generally, those films that are designated “rotten,” especially if their percentile rating is extremely low, tend to be just that. With a whopping 25%, one would expect Freedomland - a gritty, racially themed drama – to be a surefire dud. It is anything but.

Directed by Joe Roth and based upon a novel by Richard Price, Freedomland features a solid Sam Jackson as Lorenzo, a New Jersey police detective who is called upon to investigate a child abduction case that threatens to rip the already strained community apart with its explosive racial issues. Brenda (Julianne Moore), the mother of the abducted child, claims that a black man took her son. The predominately African-American community threatens to riot. Brenda seems anything but trustworthy – she is shifty, hysterical, and her story doesn’t make a lot of sense. But something about this poor woman’s plight captures Lorenzo, who gives Brenda the benefit of the doubt even when it is against his better judgment to do so. The mystery unravels in a way that may not be totally unexpected, but is startling, tragic, and magnificently redemptive nonetheless.

The story of Freedomland is certainly strong, and the themes, while familiar, are important and timely (though the filmmakers do produce some trite moments in this regard). But this movie’s real strength lies in its female performances. Jackson, a decent if overrated actor, does fine with his part. Ron Eldard and William Forsythe, both good actors, are woefully underused. But Julianne Moore again reminds us that she is one of today’s finest actresses with a performance that virtually flays the viewer with its raw intensity and power. Moore is brave here, willing to be downright ugly (emotionally more than physically) at times in her depiction of a mother on the edge. Her pivotal scene comes two-thirds of the way through the movie, and it is more than worth the wait. In this exquisite and unforgettable sequence, Moore takes us into the depths of an emotional hell, churning up conflicting feelings of disgust and pity that vacillate at the turn of a sentence.

Edie Falco, also a tremendous performer, snatches ever scene she appears in as the steely head of a mysterious coalition of parents who have each had a child go missing. The scene in which Falco smoothly and icily attempts to get some difficult information from Moore’s character is simply and utterly breathtaking.

For all its dark, heavy material, Freedomland turns out to be a remarkably positive experience. Lorenzo’s faith in God sees him through a series of severe trials, and though broken and wounded for what he has endured, Lorenzo is able, humbly, to extend a hand of grace to the distressed, disheveled, and hopeless Brenda, and in so doing, extends that hand to himself. The closing sequences of Freedomland are bleakly beautiful and ruthlessly hopeful.

R, for an abundance of strong language, mature subject matter, and violence, including disturbing descriptions of violent acts