CAPTION REVIEWS: Nacho Libre, Superman Returns, Monster House, The Benchwarmers

Summer Captions

This summer seems to have gotten away from me in terms of keeping up with my movie reviews. That being the case, I’ve decided to offer brief reviews on four films viewed between June and August.

NACHO LIBRE (2006)

My Rating: **** (out of *****)
Starring: Jack Black, Ana de la Reguera, Hector Jimenez, Cesar Gonzalez, Peter Stormare
Director: Jared Hess

My Review:
Nacho Libre is a supremely silly comedy about a Mexican friar (Jack Black, utterly hysterical) who falls for a lovely nun (Ana de la Reguera, the latest Salma Hayek, Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Lopez, et al) and dreams of becoming a wrestler, or luchador, so that he can “get some respect.” Nacho hooks up with a scrawny street urchin named Esqueleto (Jimenez, whose expressions alone bring more laughs than most movies do in their entirety), and together, they enter the colorful world of Lucha Libre prize fighting. Nacho’s double life (he cooks for the orphans in his village by day while wrestling at night) can’t last forever, but all ends well when he decides to use the money he gains from fighting to serve the orphans.

As one would expect from the director of Napoleon Dynamite, Nacho Libre maintains a bizarre, wacky sensibility throughout (the twin midget fighters, the lady who burrows through tunnels, the corncob in the eye, etc.). Nacho is more mainstream in that its lead character, unlike Napoleon’s grating, obnoxious central figure, is a lovable loser. Jack Black owns this movie, and his Nacho is a riot from first frame to last, whether he’s ungraciously jiggling his stomach flab, tauting his large posterior while wearing white “stretchy pants,” improvising a song about his beloved, or passing gas as he attacks his opponents.

Take these assets and toss in the delightfully absurd soundtrack (bravo Danny Elfman!), a goofy sense of sweetness, and some hilariously staged fight sequences, and you end up with the funniest and most enjoyable comedy in years.

PG, for crude humor and innuendo, and for comical action violence

SUPERMAN RETURNS (2006)

My Rating: **** ½ (out of *****)
Starring: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden, Kevin Spacey, Parker Posey, Frank Langella, Sam Huntington
Director: Bryan Singer

My Review:
Superman was my hero growing up. Ever since I first heard John Williams’ immortal theme and saw Christopher Reeve saving Metropolis and fighting for Truth, Justice, and The American Way, I was hooked. In fact, I was such an avid fan that I viewed Superman: The Movie and Superman II more than 100 times each before the age of 15. All this to say, when I learned that a new Superman was hitting the screens, I faced a multitude of emotions ranging from excitement to fear. Thankfully, a few missteps notwithstanding, the filmmakers have fashioned a worthy follow-up to the originals, creating one of the best superhero movies ever made in the process.

Returns picks up five years after Superman II concluded (III and IV are ignored – yea!). Shortly after defeating the three villains from Superman II, Superman (newcomer Brandon Routh – who literally seems to channel Chris Reeve at times) disappeared on a journey of self discovery. Upon returning five years later (which is where this movie starts), the Man of Steel finds that the world has learned to live without him. In particular, Superman's former flame Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth, not bad, but woefully miscast) has a young son, is engaged to be married to Perry White’s nephew (James Marsden, thankfully not caricatured as the inadequate boyfriend), and has won the Pulitzer for an article entitled “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman.” Also, that old baddie Lex Luthor (Spacey, effective but not quite as fun as Gene Hackman) has escaped from prison and is up to his old tricks of total world domination. Of these issues – corruption and lack of faith – the former seems like a breeze compared with the latter, and how our hero addresses these concerns is what makes Superman Returns not only a great comic book action movie, but a rich, layered dramatic success as well.

Besides being a little low on humor (which the earlier films had in abundance), the greatest flaw in Bryan Singer’s new version is that he has missed the boat on the character of Lois Lane. Kate Bosworth does not do a bad job at all. It’s just that she is not Lois Lane. The endearing goofiness, the zest, the lack of self-consciousness, the originality – all of these have been replaced with a thoroughly grounded, highly accomplished, wholly modern female lead who is much more elegant but much less interesting than Margot Kidder’s rendition in the earlier films.

The experience of seeing this film in the theater - hearing those familiar, majestic tones of John Williams' classic themes, seeing the opening credits fly at the screen as they did in the earlier films, and catching Superman’s smile as he flies past the earth before the closing titles – was pure magic for me. Besides the nostalgia factor, which is quite high, Superman Returns is a great film in its own right. The story is interesting, the acting solid, the emotions complex, the action exciting and exquisitely staged, and the Christological elements fascinating. In fact, the scenes in which the latter are portrayed visually are the most haunting and beautiful in the entire film.

PG-13, for some intense action violence, thematic elements, mild language including a few suggestive references, and brief partial nudity

MONSTER HOUSE (2006)

My Rating: *** ½ (out of *****)
Starring (vocal talents): Mitchel Musso, Sam Lerner, Spencer Locke, Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kevin James, Nick Cannon, Jason Lee, Jon Heder, Kathleen Turner, Fred Willard, Catherine O’Hara
Director: Gil Kenan

My Review:
A children’s horror movie? A bit of an oxymoron, wouldn’t you say? But director Gil Kenan and writers Dan Harmon, Rob Schrab, and Pamela Pettler have constructed exactly that with Monster House, a twisted, inventive, exquisitely animated feature that seems to take its cues from the Tim Burton school of filmmaking.

This delightfully demented and extremely watchable movie explores one of the hallmarks of childhood: the dilapidated old house that everyone says is haunted but no one dares to enter. DJ and Chowder (perfectly voiced by Musso and Lerner) are two young friends on the verge of pre-adolescence. Left alone with a mean-spirited babysitter for the weekend preceding Halloween, the boys – with help from a neighbor girl who has captured both of their fancies – set out to investigate the mystery of the house that literally seems to have a life of its own. What they find is, to say the least, disturbing, but the tone stays relatively light throughout, and of course, things work out okay in the end. An abundance of humor along the way also keeps things from getting too freaky. Think of it as Poltergeist Lite.

First, the pro’s: The animation is utterly spectacular. The characters move with remarkable fluidity, and the look is astonishingly realistic even while maintaining an appropriately cartoonish feel. Also, the script is frequently insightful and hilarious, the scares are spooky and fun, the vocal talents considerable (especially Lerner, with additional kudos to Nick Cannon and Kevin James as a pair of bumbling cops), and the vision exciting. This is one of the more invigorating films of the summer.

The con’s: This movie is entirely too dark and creepy for younger kids, who unfortunately make up the bulk of the targeted audience. Some of the story’s twists and turns are bizarre and troubling, and the excess of adult references (including, but not limited to, manslaughter, possession, extramarital affairs, a drunken, groping boyfriend, unrebuked lying and manipulation, misuse of pharmaceuticals by young children, voyeurism, etc.) easily push Monster House into PG-13 territory. Finally, the caricature of adults and law enforcement as consistently clueless, shallow, and helpless is tiresome and inappropriate for the impressionable young children that will consume this product.

All in all, Monster House is a unique, fun, and frothy summer concoction of thrills and chuckles, with cautions for younger audiences as noted.

PG (unwisely), for mature thematic elements, bizarre and frightening moments with some related violence and mayhem, crude humor and innuendo, and some language

THE BENCHWARMERS (2006)

My Rating: ½ (out of *****)
Starring: Rob Schneider, David Spade, Jon Heder, Jon Lovitz, Molly Sims, Tim Meadows, Craig Kilborn, Nick Swardson
Director: Dennis Dugan

My Review:
There’s not a lot to say about this movie. First and foremost, it sucks. Really, really bad. Even in the company of such lowbrow comedies as Dumb and Dumber or Tommy Boy, this movie falls embarrassingly and hopelessly short.

To attempt to describe the plot of The Benchwarmers is essentially pointless. The simple fact is that there really isn’t one. Basically, a former bully (Schneider) pairs up with a couple of big time nerds (Spade, in the grossest wig ever, and Heder, who fares the best out of anyone in this god-awful movie, but that’s NOT saying much) to empower an up-and-coming generation of geeks by joining their baseball team and playing against the big, bad bully kids, who have clearly learned their abusive behavior from their own reprehensible fathers. Throw in bald-faced mockery and stereotyping of homosexuals, women, short people, and the mentally challenged, to name a few, and you have 85 excruciating minutes of “comedy.”

I guess that somewhere, somehow, this high concept could have generated some humorous episodes. Alas, there is barely a chuckle to be had. In fact, the filmmakers try so hard to elicit laughs that one feels repeatedly punched in the gut by the director’s disingenuous attempts. They are 99% unsuccessful, and the result is bruising and painful. Finally, the acting is atrocious, the pacing choppy, the jokes unfunny and/or offensive, the emotion hackneyed, and the technical qualities lacking. Steer clear, if you know what’s good for you.

PG-13, for language, crude and sex-related humor, and some comic violence